How To Properly...
smoke
How to Properly Smoke
By Misti
Smoking is a right of passage. Passed down through the centuries weaving stories about where we have been and where we might be going. No matter how you became a smoker this much holds true, you must learn to smoke properly. Smoking is a habit that has a lovely blend of class and sophistication if done correctly.
Let's begin. Pick up your cigg and firmly grasp it between your index and middle fingers. Placement is crucial. Placing it between the knuckles makes you look like an idiot every ime you take a puff, where holding it to high on the fingertips could cause a hazardous fumble onto your lap.
Now that you have it placed comfortably between the fingers bring it up to your mouth for the lighting. Your fingertips should be slightly tilted to the side at about a 45 degree angle. The fingertips should just touch and overlap the top of your lip. With your other hand bring the lighter into range. Be careful in this step not to look at the flame too closely as doing so will make your eyes cross and cool you will not be. Take a nice short but steady inhale and you should be lit.
NOTE: If you are smoking a Cigar then several puffs during the lighting is acceptable and if your smoking a doobey then one large and deep streaming puff is proper. Hold for many seconds and release.
When it comes to exhaling smoke be considerate and direct it away from any ones face. Blow quickly and firmly to get it out of range. No one wants to see smoke trickle out of your mouth like a science experiment and no one likes to be blown on.
Blowing out of your nose is only acceptable if you are sitting in your office going over contracts and see that there is a loop hole. Doing this will show people you are dead serious and don't have the time to put your lips together and blow. Forcefully put out the cigarette to complete this look.
Ashing: Keep in mind that you are holding a burning smoking thing. This creates ash and it needs to be flicked or tapped. Having a long ash says I'm too wrapped up in what I am doing to care, whilst having a burning hot stubby glowing cherry says Look at me I'm cool and now I can say someone is thinking of me because my cherry's all red. No idiot this shows me that you inhale to long and probably have slobbered all over the damn thing. One thing to remember is to always be firm in your tap or flick. My favorite is the tap on the side of the ashtray. It's strong and soft at the same time.
Now as you casually puff away be careful not to sway the cigg around to much. Yet don't allow yourself to be stiff. We want Dean Martin not The Dice Man.
When you first lit up you should have already thought about and found at least 3 places to put out your smoke. If you are somewhere with a host, always ask them what you should do with it if an ashtray has not been provided to you. If you are alone and outside simply putting it out in some dirt and then walking it over to a nearby trash can or street is fine. DO NOT PUT IT OUT WITH YOUR SHOE! Doing this results in a tobacco mess and could prove disastrous for any carpet that you will be walking on. You may flick the cigarette like James Dean but please be sure to practice this. One limp flick and that's all people will remember of you.
Now that you have the technique down please remember to practice. Even when no one is around act as if there are many eyes on you. That way when you are in public you will come across naturally and well versed in the dying art of smoking.
